Destination dis-ease

I have heard of this phenomenon referred to several different ways. Destination dis-ease is one such label, another is arrival fallacy (article: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-arrival-fallacy-6561079). The common threads are based in discomfort or non-acceptance of the now. I have had this, I have dated people that have struggled with this, and I have done what I can to both grow beyond this and surround myself with others who are not perpetually plagued with the FOMO (or the fear of missing out) that this is at least partially rooted in.

Destination dis-ease, in the way that I understand it best, is continually thinking the following:

"If I can just make it to X, then things will be so much more Y"

... with the X being anywhere (professionally, geographically, socially, etc), and the Y being better / easier / happier, etc. This mentality keeps a future only focus, which robs the present of its potency. Unfortunately, there is much societal pressure behind success, gaining, always moving forward, and a 'more' attitude. It surrounds us daily - from targeted ads, to music, to news articles, to influencers of all shapes and sizes. At some point, it became okay to proverbially not be 'okay' and be continually seeking 'okayness' outside of oneself.

In 12 step settings, a phrase comes to mind that feels directly relatable to this exact predicament:

"If you have one foot in the past, and one foot in the future, you are pissing on the present."

Sayings like this have a great way of viscerally illustrating the problem at hand. I have no desire to piss on the present moment, but admit that in trying times particularly, it is much easier to try and catapult myself forward into the future beyond the uncomfort of the moment by focusing on what's next.  But that uncomfort is where important things happen - growth, character development, handling adversity, you name it. If I am choosing to bypass these things for the promise of something better on the other side, I am missing out on some great opportunities. So the goal in mind is to have 10 toes down, looking ahead - not ruminating on the past, not fully focused on the future - but being present with each moment. No shortcuts, and thereby not pissing on the present.

Goals are great, and important towards achieving the things we want out of life - but it is steps rooted in the now that move us towards the attainment of those things.