FOOPoo: a definition

I have been a student of life my entire life. I carry a notebook with me wherever I go, and studiously scribe when compelled. Counseling was no different for me - so when I originally started collecting information for this blog as a byproduct of my self help journey, it became obvious fairly quickly that there were several primary categories for the life lessons I had been taking in. I started pouring back over a decade worth of my journals, and I noted that there were useful acronyms, quotes, mantras, and books that all stood out to me. The focus of this blog is on this acronym, and represents one of the tools I have added to my mental toolbox.

F.O.O.Poo - which directly translated stands for Family Of Origin Shit - is something I heard years ago in a CoDA meeting. This can be anything related to the potentially dysfunctional thinking or potentially dysfunctional behavior patterns as learned from their origins, AKA the family and often more specifically, the primary caregivers.

A previous family counselor offered the following to me after my father had passed - that I had a lot of shit-shoveling ahead of me with respect to my self growth journey. It's always work to grow, but this particular analogy was visceral and relatable. While acting out a digging motion with his arms, the counselor quipped "...That's my brother's shit, that's Mom's shit, that's my Dad's shit, and oof! At the bottom of that pile is my own shit - and that is what you need to focus on." A succinct and appropriate analogy. Many of the things I have had to contend with on my own journey are distractions from my path, and it takes energy trying to figure out how to get back on that path once I've been diverted.

My proverbial shit - the things that may not be my fault, but are distinctly my responsibility to heal, integrate, and own - is what keeps me focused on my own path and prevents me from walking down other paths. This is the definition of staying in my own lane - and not selfishly.